I remember the moment clear as a bell.
It was 1964. Even today, tears come to my eyes as I write this now.
I see myself laying on my bed. Hurting and angry with myself. I felt deeply hurt by my girlfriend’s words. Yet, I knew I had been wrong; she was totally justified. This just intensified my disgust with myself.
“How could I be so stupid” quickly became “How could I be so stupid – so often! ?”
I was drowning in a cascading flood of pain, anger, and abhorrence. I couldn’t take it! I didn’t have to take this. I’d never have to take this again! I would show her. I wanted her to hurt like I was now!
I just swallowed a half bottle of aspirin. 30. I Counted them out to make sure it was enough.
I laid down, closed my eyes, and said goodbye to this misery.
In the quiet, I heard my angel whisper to me: “Get up Joey. Get up and go back to school. Make her see and regret what she did!”
It was the first time my angel had EVER spoken to me. I didn’t even know I had an angel. I didn’t believe in angels. But here was my angel whispering to me. Guiding me. I listened and followed.
That night I was sick with stomach cramps, but I was alive! I had survived the moment I came to think of as my deepest, darkest look at myself.
Now almost 60 years later, I look back with gratitude – deep gratitude – for being here to count my life’s blessings. So grateful I didn’t miss my family, and the events, including the “Oops” I now call my learning curves.
That voice, our inner voice, is our angel. I strongly encourage listening and following its message. Sometimes, it’s hard to hear that voice. You must calm yourself, look inward, and listen very closely.
My experiences have shown me that angels may be both external and internal. They’re here to assist and guide us, protect us based upon our situation and need.
Circumstances vary but many of us face these experiences during our journey. Some at younger ages, others older, but like in Greek mythology, we helplessly follow the siren leading us to destruction.
In that dark moment, I found a calm, quieter, whispering loving voice that guided me to safety. Next week, I dive deeper into this. Stay tuned!
Until next time,
Joe