When everything is peachy, standing tall at the top of the mountain peak, it’s one thing to say, “I did this!”
But how about when the utilities are cut off? The family car repossessed? When you’re racing the sheriff coming to evict you? Then it’s easier to make excuses, deny responsibility, and decry how unfair life is.
Indeed, it’s sobering to realize, acknowledge and accept that I created the life I experience. “The good and the bad – all of it!” through my thoughts, words and actions.
So did you.
By choosing what you and I focus on, our energy to “feed” as described in The Tale of Two Wolves, grows. We actually increase what we don’t want!
Can you imagine it? You and I, each of us, we already hold the power to change our life!
Looking at all the disruption, uncertainty, and finger-pointing fault finders on a rant throughout the world, it seems absurd even to suggest we, each of us, have the power to create a different experience. Surely, if it was that easy, that simple, everyone would have already done it.
It’s truly counter intuitive!
However, as shown here, that doesn’t change things.
If we’re not happy with the life we’re experiencing, it’s much easier to deny our role. It’s easier to claim, “It’s not my fault.” But that is a box canyon. A sinkhole. The way out of this box canyon is to update our perspective! Forget fault. Think of fault as a crack in the earth. Nothing more.
We’ve pointed fingers at others since the beginning of time to no avail.
Finding fault divides us, diverts our attention, and keeps us trapped in our own personal box canyon.
Or think of it like a Chinese Finger Trap: Deceptively easy to get caught in. An attractive nuisance. A wow factor with high risk!
The alternative is taking ownership. Aka Responsibility.
Consider: At times I have rented my home and other times I purchased it. When renting, I wasn’t responsible for the upkeep but I was when I was the owner. As the renter, I couldn’t change, paint, or make other improvements like I could if it was mine.
Claiming I’m not responsible for the life I’m experiencing is like renting my life – I can’t make the changes that will transform my life to the experience I dream of.
Am I saying the very act of taking responsibility for my life empowers me to make the changes I wish for?
Yes!
That’s counter intuitive.
To claim taking responsibility for whatever mess I’m in is itself the solution to changing the mess?
This IS the difference I’m searching for?
That just doesn’t seem reasonable. But it is! Here, here and here are 3 examples of exactly how the dominoes fall.
As Nietzsche described his experience: “I was in darkness, but I took 3 steps and found myself in paradise. The first step was a good thought, the second a good word and the third a good deed.”
These 3 steps were within his control, available to him the duration of his darkness!
Yes, it was sobering when it fully hit me that I created the life I experience. “The good and the bad – all of it!” I already had everything I was searching for, everything I needed was waiting for me.
I just hadn’t recognized them!
If only I had accepted the secret was to take responsibility sooner.
I can’t change what has happened.
But I can be grateful I’m still here. Grateful I have the opportunity to make the best of where I am what I have learned.
I can update my perspective. Or not.
It’s our choice!
Until Next Time,
Joe
P.S. If, or when, you’re ready to make the changes you’re wishing for, reach out to me.