“Magic is believing in yourself.
If you can do that, you can do anything.” Goethe
It was Thanksgiving week. Waiting for the light to change, I saw a woman at an intersection’s median, asking for help. I motioned for her and she came over. I helped her and as I generally do, I asked her to focus on loving herself and us, to forgive us and herself for all that had occurred and to not give up. I told her she was loved more than she knew, and she was more important than she understood. She was too important to give up.
She looked at me and asked, “Then why am I here?” I saw her pain in her eyes and heard the pain in her quivering voice. The light was about to change, I only had a moment to respond. I said a few years ago, things were extremely difficult (when I was postal riding) and I had asked myself that same question.
I thought about her frequently throughout that day until I had my “aha” moment. I realized these experiences are doors waiting to open for us. Waiting for us to learn and accept we are loved. We are important. No matter what we have done or not done, regardless what has happened or has not happened!
Our door is patiently waiting for us to grasp we can reframe our situation, choose the experience we imagine and write our new story.
How? Consider my Crossmark story. I was postal riding, unhappy, wondering, and questioning how this could have happened. Why was I here experiencing this?
I had an insight, and everything changed. I realized the key is focusing on – no matter how small – something we like that we can be grateful for and can put our love into.
I changed from seeing myself as a victim to making choices – positive, empowering choices that put me in charge of my life. I stopped feeling sorry for myself, started feeling grateful for what I had and putting love into what I was doing. You may ask how I went from hating the position I felt trapped in to actually feeling grateful for being where I was.
I began using role-play and self-talk. Imagining God walking with me, telling me He loved me, He had my back and was ready to lead me in a new direction whenever I was ready. As a child, I had role-played and self-talked, it was fun. I wondered why I stopped?
Focusing on this, I imagined being immersed in gratitude, warmth and love until I was radiating love and gratitude like a brilliant star! Then I followed My Ask Process, asking “How does it get better than this?”.
That’s how and when I began putting that love and gratitude into what I was doing. I imagined sending that love and gratitude out into the world; I imagined a giant Newton’s Cradle. I could send the universe, and me, love, opportunity and gratitude.
The change developed slowly, almost unnoticed, until “Bam!” they hit home with impact! No longer was I having to imagine it; I was surfing an emotional wave of joy! I was enjoying myself and sharing my experiences with Pam. I had created my Ask Process, which I use frequently and have shared with others who enthusiastically explained how well it worked for them.
What makes it work? My Ask Process centers me in the flow of gratitude and love. Even by sharing it with others, sharing doesn’t reduce what we have. Like sharing a smile; if the other person doesn’t smile back, we give it a “huh,” dismiss it and let it go.
But, when the other person smiles back, our smile is strengthened. So, it is with loving ourselves. The flow of love, give and receive, not only fills us with an indescribable joy and power of connection, it is as Frankl said “I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love” – our salvation!
Why do bad things happen to good people? The question is unanswerable from the same level of consciousness we discovered the question. As Einstein said: “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”
Einstein had to go to the 4th Dimension to resolve his questions with Theory of Relativity. When we raise our consciousness, as I cover in Why Bad Things Happen to Good People we begin to realize: Answering unanswerable questions is irrelevant. It’s not about answering the question. Their value is awakening to our truth – We are one with God, timeless. Experiencing the stories we live are how we emerge!
Swami Vivekananda described it as “All the powers in the universe are already ours. It is we who have put our hands before our eyes and cry that it is dark.” “Never think there is anything impossible for the soul. It is the greatest heresy to think so. If there is sin, this is the only sin; to say that you are weak, or that others are weak.”
They are God’s gifts to us. They assist us in connecting the dots. Giving direction, pointing the way like a sparse stepping-stones path. Unanswerable questions identify direction opening us to imagine and ask: What’s the best thing for me to do now?
Having direction and imagining a solution, we can identify the steps to take us in the direction we want. Remember, we want to invest in the process. The outcome is not in our hands, but our choice is!