(Continuing a deeper dive examining how an experience emerged, developed, and unfolded in my development. And yours as well. You, me, each of us are affected in ways we don’t even suspect but are asserted by the timeless insight: As a twig is bent – so grows the tree.)
My father had a new job requiring us to move from Dallas to Los Angeles when I was 9. Like most children forced to move away from their friends, it’s easy to visualize that I wasn’t happy. But, when we drove over the hill and I saw the ocean for the first time, just blocks away – my jaw dropped, eyes as big as saucers, smiling from cheek to cheek, and my spirit took flight like an eagle.
Anyway, that’s the story my parents told me. I really don’t recall the pain of moving. I recall the joys. I know that thinking of that moment still gives me shudders of joy, my eyes tear up and I feel a strong attraction to my memory living there.
There are few things that automatically swell up that response within me.
Another one is that moment, when as I described I stepped up on the porch, knocked on the door and suddenly, like a revelation from God himself, I glimpsed there’s nothing stopping me but me.
I could continue being withdrawn, timid and shy, protecting myself or I could take my chances and be the real me. It was my choice!
It seemed time stood still although it was all over in a heartbeat.
That’s how I remember the moment I understood things don’t have to be more of the same! I don’t have to be what everyone expects! I can tell myself a new story – because “No One Here Knows Me …I can be the real me!”
I am so grateful for that moment when I put the first crack in the shell confining me. Now, I realize the shell was of my own construction – I was hiding inside it. But then I was 19 and thought I understood everything. Only to come to realize I didn’t understand anything.
One of life’s most important insights and encouragements is counter-intuitive and hiding in plain sight: Unthinking acceptance is the greatest enemy of truth. Everything I was taught is suspect. Plato, Descartes, Einstein, and countless others implored us to doubt, look behind life’s curtain and discover what’s really happening.
It’s not that you and I have been intentionally misled as much as it is that the path of least resistance is encouraged, applauded and rewarded. It’s quicker, easier and appears more certain to travel the well-worn path than to find our own.
But what if I’d had someone familiar to look behind life’s curtain with?
Someone to share their experiences and encourage me, show me the ropes while having my back? Things would have been different sooner and smoother. I could have made it then ¬– instead of later.
If this interests you, ask me.
Until Next Time,
Joe