I remember the morning clearly. It’s as if I’m reliving it now.
It’s a warm beautiful spring morning as I pull the slider door open, the screen door’s grinding noise grates on me and I walk out onto the balcony of our upstairs apartment.
The apartment itself is small and we’re cramped, but the balcony’s oversized. Bigger than the small kitchen. I feel so warm and grateful there. Especially on days like this, sitting outside, looking at the trees. A warm light breeze rustled the trees. The sound is gentle on my mind.
Immersed in a deep aura of joy, I sit down in our patio chair enjoying the view of trees as I look out past our van, over the parking lot.
My eyes return to our van. I’m so happy with it. We bought it on eBay. I had flown up to Chicago to pick it up. It was 10 years old but low milage and in good shape.
It’s strange how living a year, in one room, without any vehicle had changed my perception of what I was grateful for.
My mind flashes back to what I used to take for granted. Our cars and homes.
Suddenly, I was depressed. Angry. I felt trapped, thinking this is likely the last car I’ll ever buy. We’ll live here, in this small apartment forever.
I felt tears falling on my cheeks and my vision blurred.
Pam, my wife, called out to me, saying she was coming out to join me.
“Quick Joe,” thinking “I can’t let Pam see me like this!” abruptly pulled me back to the moment.
I took stock, made a quick inventory of our family, our health, the blessings that made me the happiest. The blessings that drive me when I imagine I can give my family the life I envision.
It is up to me, and you, each of us creates the life we experience.
But I Have to Believe in Myself – and You in Yourself!
Then it’s time for practice. And more practice. Again, and again.
No – That’s Wrong.
Actually, you don’t have to believe in yourself.
You have to be resilient or lucky enough to avoid giving up!
That’s how we first earn the right to believe in ourselves.
You and I – We Prove It!
Everything I can do, you can do, everything any of us can do – we practiced until we did it. Naturally, there are good ways to practice and better ways to practice. Actually, there’s Good, Better and Best practices. But practice.
Even when it feels all is lost – it’s not – if you keep practicing.
I choose to imagine life as a game about the journey – not the destination. A deep immersion RPG (role-play game) game wherein I experience the story I wrote for the purpose of experiencing the storyline choices I made.
Like all RPG games, I choose the settings. The level of difficulty, which skills to develop and how much to engage. Indeed, my success itself counts on me developing my skills and fully engaging versus making half-hearted attempts.
As long as I’m practicing – I’m still in the game! By my choosing to practice again and again, I can keep the game alive.
Similar to playing in a football game, even when time is running out, I can call my play. The buzzer sounds. But the game stays alive until I go down.
That holds for you as well!
Until Next Time
P.S. Your background may be such that the above is all very difficult to fathom. If the above sounds like fantasy and outside your beliefs, I understand. I too had similar disbeliefs until I played with it. I practiced and found that it provides me a more effective way to experience life.
I cannot know, absolutely beyond reasonable doubt, anything. Everything humanity has been taught is susceptible and possibly wrong. I’m not asking you believe me. I share my experiences. The effective and empowering ways I found to answer life’s questions; handle its challenges; and to live a satisfying life.
In the upcoming posts, I will share my experiences on why I advocate LFT’s 5-Foundation Points, how they facilitate me to experience Joy, Peace and Love – through Grace.
How they gave me the energy and drive to not give up, to keep my game alive even though all seemed lost.
What I Refused to Miss Out On!